me against the world

So I haven’t been blogging.

Sorry…

I just spent 15 minutes deleting spam comments. No matter what I try, some keep getting through the filter. As well, by accident I deleted a comment from Sen (noticed right after I hit ‘delete’).

On that note, thank you to the 125 Columbia guys for expressing interest in hearing what I have to say ;-)

Things have been hectic, as it has probably been for all university students, but I don’t really think that’s a good enough excuse for not blogging. I have just been letting life take more of my attention, I guess.

To clarify what I was talking about in previous posts:

My previous internship experience was a communications one and I am looking to get some technical experience to demonstrate my major (and capability) in computer science. I found out that since science isn’t my home faculty (media and communications is), I don’t qualify. That really upset me because I was left in the middle with no one to really help me, per say. And just because it isn’t my home faculty, that doesn’t mean that I am not taking all of the same courses. I realize it’s a bureaucratic issue (funding issues probably), but it’s still a bit frustrating.

Anyway, I have decided to just look for a technical summer job that isn’t an internship or co-op placement. It’s a bit difficult though. I’ve attended a few networking events and out of say ten companies, only two will offer non-internship/co-op placements. I understand why though, since all companies that have internship or co-op programs get subsidized by the government for the students’ pay.

It’s all a bit frustrating…

Anyway, we’ll see how it goes.

At the same time, I keep going back and forth on what I want to do in the future. I know I’m not the only one doing this, but thinking about it consumes a lot of my time. I loved what I did during my internship (corporate and employee communications) so I could do that. I’ve also learned a lot about the field of publishing (book, magazine or online) and have become really interested in doing that. At the same time, I am doing really well in my computer science courses and I’m really enjoying them. So I keep wondering if I should come back for an extra year after graduating with a BA, to get a BSc (I found out that I can do this), but I’ve decided that it will only be worth it if I really want to do technical work. I won’t know that until I try it, and so that’s why I’m so interested in finding a technical job to get some real-world experience.

Technically (ha), I could find a job that is in communications for a technical company, or vice versa, and that would satisfy me. But at the same time, sometimes I think that’ll be really hard to find.

Anyway! The whole point is that I’ve been thinking too much about things that I can’t really determine right now. I just have to take things one step at a time. Right now that involves finishing my courses for this semester (I can’t believe there are only a few classes left), hoping that this volunteer IT position I found goes through, and getting going with next semester. In January I will have to apply for summer jobs, so we’ll see how it goes.

On a side note, to all who are currently looking for post-grad jobs: good luck!! I hope it’s all going well…

I panicked the other night.

I was worried that all my efforts mean nothing and that I won’t be able to achieve what I want to achieve.

But then I slept it off. I took two nights and a few meaningful conversations and I’m back where I like to be. I feel confident and determined to work hard and get what I want. That’s the way I like it: the ball in my court and the knowledge that the more I practice and prepare, the more likely I will score and ultimately win.

I will give details in another post.

At this very moment, I’m hating the academic system.

I just hit a roadblock in terms of my plans and I am going to attempt to go around it.

However I think I’m going to hit a wall in the corporate system.

Joy.

I feel like a nobody. Thank you wonderful system.

Today I spoke at an internship session at school and actually realized that I am proud of what I have achieved so far.

At the same time, today I talked to a few different counselors and realized that achieving the next few stages of my “plan” is going to be a very complex procedure.

I want to take on so many things and go down so many avenues, that I seem to get overwhelmed sometimes. I know as well as anyone else does that I should take things a step at a time, and make each achievement one by one.

But sometimes it’s hard to just sit down and make my hyperactive brain stop so that I can focus. I’ll have to work on that.

It’s only the start of October and I’m already swamped with school work. That’s not an exaggeration either. Starting with last Thursday, I have something listed in my schedule due each day until this upcoming Friday. I’ll be really happy when Thanksgiving Weekend finally gets here.

Regardless of the stress that this work is causing me, I am really happy to be back at school. I had missed the campus life and the feeling of being in class and learning. I sound like a nerd, but I knew while I was working that I wanted to come back and learn more before I go out into the real world.

Of course, I miss having the money and I miss having my weekends free.

I won’t lie though. I have been having some fun here and there too, so things are good. I should mention that I had an incident while inline skating this weekend and am now limping around. It seems to fit my profile as I always hurt myself because I am so active. Oh well… I’m just glad I can still walk up the stairs to my apartment. I live on the fourth floor and there are no elevators, so if I couldn’t do that then I would have a really big problem.